The Conversational Narcissist

We’ve all met people who constantly make everything about themselves, with little regard for others. And whether you’re dating them, friends with them, or they’re a family member, you’ve probably noticed they’re not exactly pleasant to be around.A few years ago, I met a radio announcer for lunch. He was to interview me about my newly published novel. At first, he appeared perfect — open, outgoing, and willing to share. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as expected, and soon enough, he launched into lengthy stories about his childhood and an ongoing love affair with a married woman. During the long monologue about himself, he clutched his breast, breathing hard, unaware that tears were falling amidst convulsing gasps.

The intensity of my discomfort didn’t surprise me. I felt trapped. Yet I continued with the right sounds and what I believed were sympathy nods. All the while, I observed his orbicular features — round eyes, round nose, round cheekbones. I even arranged my face to demonstrate his feelings, possibly because he divulged such intimate details. Looking back, I remember feeling that uncomfortable blurring of edges, the slight disassociation of self from his self-absorption. And to this day, I’m surprised I put up with his emotional outburst. After all, he was supposed to ask me questions about my novel and get to know me. All that went missing for the one-hour duration spent together. Yet, even as I pretended I was interested in his tales and ridiculous heartaches, I tried to convince myself I was in control.

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