That time I tried to quit my job and failed
15th of October 2019, 9AM. I’m excited and a little anxious as I walk through the door of the Holborn-based start-up where I’m starting a new job as product manager. I’m welcomed by a colleague who gives me a tour of the office and introduces me to the teams sitting in the open space and to people grabbing their morning coffee in the kitchen. I meet HR, I receive my laptop, I settle at my desk. The morning goes by and I can feel a strange feeling burgeoning, a sense that something’s off. By the end of the week I know for sure: I have to quit. I had never felt that way before in a brand new job, but there was no doubt, I did not belong there. Everything clashed with me: the office, the vibe in the teams, the product, the mission, the management style, etc… My reaction was physical. In less than a week I had stomach aches, I struggled getting out of bed, and I felt like crying all day. I did not want to go to work, I did not want to do the job that I had been hired for. The next week, in our one-to-one, I gave the CEO my one-week notice and explained that I wasn’t a fit for the company and the job. He’d been the one to hire me, and he didn’t receive my resignation well. Visibly upset and disappointed, he started to argue that it’d just been a week, that I had not really tried yet, that they could adjust my compensation and give me more equity if that was the issue, that they could shape the job to fit me, etc… I immediately felt guilty. He’s right, I thought, I haven’t tried enough. Maybe my first impression is wrong and I’m being lazy, giving up at the sight of a few obstacles. And who am I to walk away from a decent pay and a product manager role so close to leadership in a growing start-up? Anyone else would grab this opportunity and make the most out of it for their career. Get over yourself, Ludivine!
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