How I Lost My Sanity
I don’t know where the emptiness came from. Suddenly it was there. Filling the room. Suffocating me.I’ve never been a people person. Two months before if you’d asked me to hang out with a large group of people I would have declined.Today I would have hugged you. Jumped up and down. Danced. I would have done whatever I could to interact with some humans.They never tell you what loneliness is. It fills you up until you become empty inside. All I did was longing for connection and belonging.Was this all it came down to? The feeling trapped inside me. Is my life worthless? Or are the voices in my head wrong?“I don’t want to be part of your experiment anymore!” I screamed from the top of my lungs.The room I was currently standing in was completely white. It had a bed, a kitchen, a computer, a toilet, and some other stuff. It all looked rather sterile, and I was sick of it.I’d stayed two months in the same room without any real human connection. Or I had my phone, I could make calls. I could use the internet.It was the human touch I missed. Sitting in front of an actual physical human.Two months ago I’d come across a poster where they offered a lot of money to take part in an experiment. It specified that being a loner or not being fond of other people would be an advantage. My friend had joked and said it would be perfect for me.I couldn’t say no to the money and signed up. And how I regret it now. Every day was the same. Eating, sleeping, sitting on the computer.The worst part was they’d left some sort of robotic doll I was supposed to interact with. It spoke a few words, and if you squeezed its hand it squeezed it back.I started banging on the door, hoping someone would hear me. But there was no response. I was trapped in this hellhole, alone and miserable.“PLEASE I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE,” I screamed again.I threw my phone into the wall and it shattered.“I can’t take this anymore.” A single tear left my eye. “Please, please, please!”
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