The Upside of Bipolar — The Hidden Strength Within
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar, it felt like my life ended. It felt like I received a sign with the word Doomed in it. I felt like giving up on life.I never seemed to fit in. I looked through all closets at home when I was 7 years old, trying to find proof that I was adopted. I walked through life like a chameleon. I took on different masks to adopt to different situations I was in. Trying to hide the weirdness within.I felt there was always something going on with me that wasn’t quite right. I felt there was something horribly wrong with me. Most of the time I had no clue beforehand how I would react to anything. It all depended on the mood I happened to be in.When the doctor told me that I had bipolar type 1 I felt like it was just time to give up. There was no chance that I could ever succeed in life. There was no chance that someone could ever love me. There was no chance of ever fitting in. It was final, it was all too clear, I was a total nutcase. Doomed for life.When I let go of trying, or even wanting to fit in a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I started to find myself. The true me who I had tried to hide all my life. I started to find answers to many questions I had.Being weird, being crazy, being seen as a nutcase isn’t always a bad thing. It’s not on you, it’s all those stereotypes who make it bad. It’s all those stereotypes that haunts us and makes us believe that we are supposed to be a certain way.
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